Free Scissors

Last night I could not find a pair of scissors to save my life. Where are all of my scissors? I have like 52 pairs! MailFinity is taking care of that for me with FREE SCISSORS! Yeah, it's true that by the time I get the scissors, I'll find a pair of mine again, but these will be different! I will always know where they are. I will never cut paper with them. Ok, so none of that is true, but they're still free.